First of all, let me start with an excerpt from my email to one of my besties, Sarah McLeish. The story is unrelated to the Sliding Rocks, but for those of you who like to be in the know....
"In other news, I have mice living in my room. I hate them so much- they nibble away at peanuts I accidentally leave lying around- it's my bedroom, I shall leave peanuts where I want!!!! Anyway, I named them Walter and McCready. Walter is spontaneous and cheerful, always willing to try new things. He'll probs die first from the rat poison I have laid out tonight....McCready is slightly more world weary, he's done some time around the block and has seen one or two of his mates go the way of ol' Stuart Little (in this story we pretend Stuart Little died by eating rat poison). He's going to be harder to track down and destroy. I kind of like them a little bit, so it will be sad when they crawl behind my wardrobe to die and I have to fish them out with the salu (broom). Gross."
In an unrelated story, last Saturday, after a late morning lie in because we were hungover from out intense dance session at the local RSA (true story, there was a fight and everything), we headed over to the Sliding Rocks.
The sliding rocks are aptly named, as they are basically a collection of rocks that are covered in algae, that are now very slidey. There are various little waterfalls and pools that the daring can take a little dip in. There is one waterfall/slide that is slightly larger than the rest, I couldn't tell you how big because I'm not super great with measurement, but probs like 6 meters high or something? High enough that it is scary, but low enough that you don't have to think (too long) about whether you will die or not sliding off it.
Being the cowardly fool I am, I knew that if I didn't do it straight away I never would, so I quickly jumped on and did the big one. I'm really glad I did- it was fun in a "my butt hurts from the rocks, and now I'm falling, and now my butt is hitting the ground cos it's shallower than we all thought" kind of way. I tried to attempt round two, but ended up having a panic attack at the top of the waterfall and sitting there, hunched up in a ball, weeping sadly (I imagine I looked a bit like Gollum when he lost the ring.)
Anyway, I pulled myself together quickly as a family was approaching and I didn't want them to see me in my sorry state. The girls and I lounged around for a while longer, basking in the sun, until we decided it was time to go for another slide.
Now is probably time to mention my greatest Sliding Rocks fear. I am distrustful at the best of times, so my natural inclination is to think "what if there is a sharp rock and I rip my bum on it?!" It's actually my worst fear ever since Hannah at intermediate school told me that people put wall tacks point up in the waterslides at the Lido Aquatic Centre and someone got one stuck in their bum!
So we headed down to a more relaxed part of the pools. In the distance the rapids got slightly more intense. There was another little waterfall that fell into a large pool, but we deduced that it didn't look very safe, as there were pointy rocks sticking out at the top of the waterfall. I watched cynically (not over my failure at the last fall it would seem), while Liz and Lena swam around in the little pools. Liz pointed to a rock that was about 30cm high. "Look, Ains" she said encouragingly, as if talking to a mentally handicapped Golden Retriever "this one would be alright for you!" She went down the "slide" to prove her point. "It does look fun.." my simple mind thought to itself. I wandered down to the pool and had a little go. Inspired with confidence, I looked for my next challenge- a rock that was big enough to warrant a slide, but small enough that I wouldn't stress myself out. I saw it, waiting on the other side of the stream, the perfect rock. "I'm just going over here to sit on this one" I called out to the girls. Lining myself up, I pushed off and immediately knew this was not going to pan out the way I had anticipated.
"I caaaaaaaaan't stooooooooop!" Shrieking, I was headed to face my fears head on- or should I say, bum on! I was about to test Hannah's theory for myself- would my bum be ripped to shreds?? As I flailed around trying in vain to slow myself down, I reached the fastest parts of the rapids. "This is it" I said to myself, and squeezed my eyes shut and prayed, hoping that God would somehow turn my bum to steel and the rocks into marshmallows Seconds later, I hit a bumpy patch, including a natural ski jump, sailed into the air, and landed with an undignified splash into a deep pool. I looked back up the river, spluttering, trying to figure out if all my limbs were in order, at Liz's panicked face trying to look down into the pool. After shouting that I was seemingly alright, they let loose the laughter they had obviously graciously been holding back, and just about wet themselves at the top of the stream. I'm glad they didn't, given my then current position.
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